The Sunday Times  March 9 2008

 

YOUR PERSONAL ADVISER:

CAREER

 

Should I take India job offer if wife doesn’t want to move?

 

Q  Much has been written about the two giant economies of the 21^st century – China and India.

Among those of my friends who have received oveseas job offers, many do not have any qualms relocating to China.  But very few would consider India for various reasons, including the relatively poor infrastructure and quality of health care.

I am a business development manager in my mid-30’s. After graduating from NUS, I have been moving steadily up the corporate ladder and now head a medium-sized department of an American MNC dealing with consumer products.  

About a month ago, a headhunter called me and I now have a job offer to head one of the business units of an American MNC based in India.

The money is too good to be true and the challenges are going to be good for my career and personal development.  The only issue is, my wife does not want to move to India – Mumbai, to be precise.

We have a five-year-old son, who is being cared for by my mother-in-law on weekdays.  I do not think she is going to entertain the thought of moving to India with us.  What should I do?

 

A  CONGRATULATIONS on securing a job offer. Yes, you do have a dilemma on your hands, and given your personal circumstances, that is, your wife and son’s preference and needs respectively, I would not hesitate to recommend that you thank your prospective new employer for the vote of confidence and suggest ‘…maybe next time …’.  

Staying apart is a thought that you should not even entertain.  At the end of the day, a job is just that – ‘a job’, whereas the family is there with you forever, and you must have heard horror stories of families being torn apart, beginning from such arrangements.

That said, however, let us look at things from the perspective of your career. An overseas stint cannot but add to your employability.  Regardless of the downsides – lack of infrastructure, perceived hardship of living and working in India etc – there are actually some positives.

Apart from what you would learn and gain in self development, India is as big as Europe, offering a vast range of opportunities.  The local professionals are talented, hard-working and easy to communicate with, since they use English.  If we compare China and India, both have their pluses and minuses.  Thus, India is really not all that ‘negative’ a place for you to grow your career.

Given this scenario, perhaps, you can come to a compromise with both your prospective employer and your family.  At your age, you should be pushing hard to advance your career.

Agree on a 3 – 4 years’ overseas assignment, with an understanding (in writing) that the company will move you back to Singapore at the end of that period, and that the firm will move you back to Singapore at the end of that period, and that it will offer you an equivalent job in terms of the challenges and seniority.

Of course, the company may or may not be able to honour this when the time comes, given possible changes in the company’s status, business direction and so on.  If that is the case, then a compensation package, pre-negotiated, will kick in. This should consist of both monetary compensation and professional outplacement support.

Such an arrangement might prompt your wife to agree to move with you to India. The firm should also have in place a settling-in programme for you and your family that can help you to assimilate into the culture there.

You did not mention if your wife is currently working.  If she prefers to work, either full-time or part-time,  after settling in, you can also request that your employer pay for a job search consultant to aid her in securing meaningful work so she can be kept mentally stimulated.

Final word of advice - keeping the wife and family happy is more important than a new job. If you turn down this offer, there will surely be others. 

 

Paul Heng

Founder

Advice provided in this column is not meant as a substitute for comprehensive professional advice.  E-mail questions to lorna@sph.com.sg